Read Aaron Lazare’s requirements for an effective apology. These attempted apologies and expressions of consolation failed to elicit. Aaron Lazare, M.D., a noted scholar on the psychology of shame and humiliation, offers a thoroughly engaging and lucid examination of an important and. On Apology, by Aaron Lazare. New York, Oxford University. Press, , pp., $ What a pleasure to read a book by a prominent psychiatrist.

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Written by a Harvard Medical School professor, this book is a suprisingly light book celebrating the difficult human notion of the apology. Toward this end, President George W. Whether an offended party is an individual or a collection of individuals, an apology must meet the same basic psychological needs in order for it to bring about forgiveness and reconciliation.

They assume the world is hostile and that relationships are inherently dangerous.

Jun 26, Ruth Seeley rated it it was amazing. It would have been satisfying to see some discussion of apology in more complex situations in which there are power differentials–e.

Among the most moving examples in the book is Lincoln’s second inaugural address, in which he apologizes for American slavery: From Publishers Weekly This jewel of a book reveals the many facets of the simple act of apology. Readers will not only find a wealth of insight that they can apply to their own lives, but also a deeper understanding of national and international conflicts and how we might resolve them.

Among the many apoligy nuggets that make it worth reading The next important phase of an apology is the explanation. Add both to Cart Add both to List. Another healing factor is the affirmation that both parties have shared values and agree that the harm committed was wrong.


Making Peace Through Apology | Greater Good

Suspecting our youngest child, Naomi, then 16, who was the only child in the house at the time, my wife asked her whether she had taken the brownie. There is a good amount of material here whether you’re a layperson or using the book as an academic resource. I believe there are up to four parts to the structure of an effective apology. The act of apologizing is quite simply immensely fulfilling. To purchase, visit your preferred ebook provider. So often we fear dealing with the complicated issue of apology when, in fact, apology is part of the pathway to healing damaged relationships.

He also describes brief apologies, such as the ones you make after accidentally bumping into someone or keeping a borrowed book for six months. I quite liked this book: Is it ever too late to apologize? References to this book Intuition and Metacognition in Medical Education: His captors broke his bones.

Dec 20, J rated it really liked it. For the past 10 years, I have studied the structure and function of public and private apologies. The world we inhabit is far from perfect. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Jul 26, Hannah Scanlon rated it liked it Shelves: In other situations, where the unrepentant offender shows no signs of remorse or change of behavior, forgiveness can be useful, but reconciliation would be foolish and self-destructive.

On Apology

Everybody on earth could benefit from this small but essential book. In April oftelevised photographs revealed to the world the abuse of Iraqi prisoners held by the United States military in the Abu Ghraib prison. An effective explanation may mitigate an offense by showing it was neither intentional nor personal and is unlikely to recur. When the offense causes damage or loss of a tangible object, the reparation is usually replacement or restoration of the object. There are many nuggets of wisdom to be gleaned from this book, such as how to give an effective and proper apology, when to apology immediately and when to wait, and why apologies can be powerful and life changing even after more than half a century between the actual ap Reading this short and insightful book will make you think about your own relationships and situations in which you were the offended seeking an apology versus being the offender and offering or coerced into giving an apology.


To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. For example, a woman who has been abused by an unrepentant husband may forgive him but choose to live apart.

President Clinton, President Grant.

Drawing on a vast array of literary and real-life examples, from Agamemnon to George Patton to Arnold Schwarzenegger, from the current pope to the machinist who approached him after a lecture, Lazare lucidly dissects the process of apology He discusses the importance of shame, apilogy, and humiliation, the initial reluctance to apologize, the simplicity of the act of apologizing, the spontaneous generosity and forgiveness on the part of the offended, the transfer of power and respect between two parties, and much more.

On apology is an invaluable tool in improving your own apologies and in understanding others.

This topic fascinates me – what can I say? Naomi continued her denial.